Little Eaton Lads Holidays

September 2008 - Zola's 50th

Wednesday 17th - Annette drives me up to the Three Horseshoes for 8:30pm. I have a quick pint there and then on the bus. Peter arrives late clutching a bottle of Whiskey, very good for my tooth ache. We leave just after 9pm, there are 22 on the bus, plus the driver Bernard.

Thursday 18th - The A82 is shut after Tarbet so we leave Loch Lomond and do a very long diversion, rejoin just after Tyndrum. Miss the stop at Firkin point since I am asleep. Arrive in Fort William at about 7:30am. A bit of difficulty deciding where to park the bus. Leave the bus at 8:25 to walk up to the Youth Hostel. We set off from there at 8:50. By the time we have walked up to the main track Big Derek has split off and is going for the top. We have plenty of stops on the way. I wait 20 minutes where the stream crosses the path and a further 30 minutes halfway up the zig-zags. I get very cold and have to put my salopettes on. Yvonne Parker turns round about half way up the zig-zags. The last mile goes very slowly, count the yards down on the sat nav. Arrive at the summit after 5 hours at 1:50pm. The summit party is Me, Simon, Quincy, Zola, E ??, Graham Parker, Jim, Chris B. We open one bottle of champagne, not mine, and don't bother with the glasses. Have a few vol-au-vents. Depart down at 2:10, Simon jokes that it will take four hours and I say not, about two. Zola arrives back in the Glen Nevis bar after 3:40pm. I am very tired and get down in about 3 hours. The last bit is very painful as always, should have taken the sticks. We move on to have one in the Nevis sport bar and then on the Clachaig. There is a big rush to get the food ordered before 9pm. We all have a table by ourselves and have a good meal. I have an Argus steak burger. Move back into the main bar for a while. The bar closes at 11pm.

Friday 19th - Meet for breakfast at 8am, good traditional Scottish breakfast. Leave the Clachaig at about 9pm, good views across Rannoch moor etc. on the way back. We stop at Gretna for a scheduled stop. Go to the Highland Hotel or similar in Springfield, just outside Gretna. Start to get barrel fever, take a quick couple of pints. Simon buys a load of bottles to take on the coach. Bernard points out the safety risks and I have to do some negotiation. Zola points to the farm that he worked on at Eaglesfield. David and Annette drive up separately to the Old England hotel. They get a taxi to meet us in the Golden Rule in Ambleside. The beer starts flowing. Everyone is a high spirits. Arrive at the hotel for about 6pm. A quick change and then into the pool, great to have a swim. We have both forgotten own swimming stuff. Annette goes in her bar and pants, asks PK and Graham if it will be OK. We all have a lot of fun in the sauna and ice room. Meet at 7:30 in the hotel bar. Deano is planning to propose to Joyce later. Have a few in the Hole in the Wall. Most of us then go for a curry. PK keeps us all amused with his Tourette's impersonation. Move on to the Stag Head. Enjoy dancing till 2am. Get back into the hotel and steal some shortbread.

Saturday 20th - Enjoy the fantastic view from the breakfast room. We wave the coach off at about ten, PK is the last one on. Me and Annette try to stay another night but they are full. We drive up to Ambleside for a bit, have a cup of tea sitting outside. Drive back to Bowness and go on an electric boat for a couple of hours. Head south, get a long way down the lake but we cannot see the end. Drive south after we get off the boat and find the Whitewater hotel in Backbarrow. Have a quick swim and then a very good dinner, sleep well.

Sunday 21st - Good breakfast and have a look round the cascades. Drive on to Coniston on roads which I have not been on. Amazingly there are no cycles for hire in Coniston. Drive on up to High Cross. Walk along through the forest. I am only in Crocs. Walk for about four hours. Drive down to Grange-over-Sands in search of food. Look at a few pubs along the route back. In the end stop at the Eagles head in Over Kellet. Good food, large portions.

Mallorca June 2003 Large's Stag do

Me, Simon, PK, Tats, Elton, Wraggy, Large, Mark, Richard, Reggie, Keith, Steve, John.

Friday 20th - Simon picks me up at 4:25 from Kilburn. Start on the San Miguel at Simon's parents, bus to EMA. PK is in a coma as usual, Reggie packs a case for him. Fly at 7:55 to Palma. Coach for one hour to Hotel Talayot, Cala Millor. Everyone on the beach. Try a few beers and hotel pools with Gee, Large, Tats on the way back from dinner. Elton pulls, Reggie sleeps in the wrong hotel.

Saturday 21st - Simon gets up early and runs to Sa Coma. Gets back before he realises that he has not changed his watch. Meet Lizzy the rep. Me and Simon walk up to the Castle and then down to Sa Coma. Miscalculate the time and have to get a taxi back. At 5pm we catch the bus to a Real Mallorca game. Incredibly hot during the game. Capacity of 24,600, only 800 are there. No commitment during the game. Real Mallorca beat Malaga 1-0. Bus back. Out when we return. A few stay out till dawn. Meet some Sheffield girls.

Sunday 22nd - Get out of the hotel early and walk the opposite way from yesterday towards Cala Bona with Simon. Keep nipping in the sea. Swim out to a moored raft and do some diving. Lunch in Cala Bona. Just get back in time to eat in the hotel. Out for some drinks with Lizzy the rep, to Cheers Bingo and a Quiz. Wraggy falls asleep, we leave him. Go to Oscars and then Karussell, Simon talks to two German girls. I come back about 2am.

Monday 23rd - Get up early, catch the bus at 8:45. Tats rings round to make sure that everyone is up and ready, then he misses the bus. Wraggy and Elton don't make it. Good fun at Aqua city. Back there for 6pm. Go out to Bananas and then Karussell. Stay out with Steve and Reggie till 5:30am.

Tuesday 24th - Get on the beach near Playa del Moro. Spend a lot of time in the sun. BK for brunch, has its own pool. Simon looks at the Pessinde apartments owned by Stuart Web. Go horse riding at 6pm at Rancho Grande. Mark and Richard get the fast horses, some others on the Sangria Wagon. BBQ and sangria afterwards. Hotel for 1am, one falls asleep on the bus. Most go out all night.

Wednesday 25th - Hire a Megane cabriolet with Simon. Leave the hotel at 9pm. Quick swim at Alcudia and Formentor. Look at Pic du Mallorca, but very steep. Drive a long way down to Sa Calobra. We are very short of petrol.

No more records

Scotland November 2002 weekend with Gee, PK and John Colebrook.

Thursday 14th November - Pick up Simon at 5am, then get PK and JC. The car is very full. I get hit by a French lorry driver on the M8 in Glasgow. We have to stop to get a new tyre and have the side of the car pulled out. Push on to Fort William. We go into town and have a few pints in the Nevis sport bar. Simon buys a small book describing the mountain rescues of the previous year and we read it in the bar, five finger gully seems to crop up a lot. Come back for the evening meal in the B&B, very good. Have a quiet night in with plenty of highland spirit.

Friday 15th - Wake up with a bit of a hangover. Attempt Ben Nevis. The path disappears under the snow, and I cannot be sure where the top is, I decide not to continue to the top. We get to the top of the zig zags. Meet Lisa Sharpe, from Brisbane, on the way down. She comes with us to the Nevis Sport bar for a couple of pints.

Saturday 16th - Drive across to Aberdeen. Go via Grantown-on-Spey, see the house that I stayed in, during the ski holiday of 1987 and the bar that we went in, with bodies on the floor. It seems to take all day to get there across some very deserted country side. Get to Aberdeen and drive round looking for a hotel, get a great deal in a Thistle Hotel. Simon meets some bloke he knows from Derby. Go for a very good steak and then for a few drinks. Go to a very good 'Revolution' bar which is just opposite the hotel. Move on to a night club in a converted church which is a bar really. Simon insists that we go to a real club and we get a taxi to one near the coast. It is almost deserted. Back to the hotel, order drinks and sandwiches, have problems remembering which rooms we are staying in.

Sunday 17th - Wake up to a fantastic clear blue ski, have a quick breakfast and then set off for Braemar, the countryside seems so beautiful in the sun-shine. Buy some supplies in Braemar and drive up to the Linn of Dee. Start walking at about 3pm. We see clear views of the tops of all the mountains. Walk up Glen Derry and to the Hutchinson Memorial Bothy. This is the highest bothy in the UK and significantly above the snow line. The bothy is in a fantastic location and the ski is completely clear.

Arrive just after sunset. The moon is almost full and we contemplate going up to the top overnight. PK gets out his cooker and we have Chicken Dupiaza for tea. We have brought no lights with us so have to make do with a small candle left behind previously. We are all in bed for 7pm, we all accuse each other of snoring all night.

Monday 18th - Wake up at 8am, visibility is down to about 100 yards. Attempt the top of Ben Macdui, very difficult to be sure where we are, turn back at 1pm, about 30 minutes from the top. Get down just in time to phone Claire and tell her that we are OK. Leave about 7pm, I drive back, stop in Newcastle for McD's home for 2am.

Ambleside February 2002 weekend with Gee, PK and Mitchell.

Thursday 21st February - PK comes round at 5am. He has a large white hire van since someone ran into the back of him. Drive round to the Queen's and wait for Simon and Mitchell. Leave at about 5.30. Drive up to Bowness and try the Old English hotel, no space. Simon declares, don't worry, I'll find you a B&B. We stay at the Anchorage B&B in Ambleside. Get changed and then head off to the Dungeon Gill hotel. The man in the hotel tells us the weather forecast for the day, torrential rain all day, minus twenty two degrees of wind chill, fifth meters of visibility. We drag ourselves out of the comfort of the van and head off up the valley. The rain goes straight through my over-trousers, this seals their fate and they end up in the bin later. The plan is to go up Great Gable, as we get higher the snow gets deeper and eventually we turn back. Call in to the Hikers bar when we get back to the hotel, we are all cold and wet. We have to stay for a while to get a good place by the fire, put on so much wood and coal it turns into a furnace. Back to the B&B and then out to the Glasshouse for a meal followed by a few drinks round town

Friday - Drive to Keswick, call in at George Fisher for some more gear, three of us buy new gloves. I buy Mitchell's dry bags off him. Set off up Skiddaw at 12.30, the conditions today are different, very strong wind and hail. Get to the top and it is impossible to stand up, we estimate the wind speed as 110 m.p.h. Back to the van for 4pm. Back into Keswick for quick drink and then back to the B&B. Get a taxi to Rheged, it is further than we thought and costs £40. We have a four course meal and watch an Everest film on their I-Max screen for a very reasonable £16. By the time we come out the snow is beginning to settle. Get a taxi to 'The Warehouse' in Penrith, stay for a couple and then walk through the snow to the Blues night club. Meet Holly and her friends from Rheged. When we come out the snow is quite deep. Wander round in the snow for about an hour trying to find a taxi. I suggest that we sleep in a shop doorway or break a window and get arrested. In the end we get a taxi to the AWJ truckstop near the M6, get there for about 4am.

Saturday - We have a good truckers breakfast and then think about getting back to Ambleside. Simon is desperate to get to Leicester to watch Derby play. All roads though the lakes are cut off. We have to get a taxi down the M6 and via Kendal, it costs us £100. We drive down to Coniston to have a look at the 'Old Man'. The road from Ambleside is accumulating snow quickly on the way down so we just have a quick look at the lake and drive back. Have a quick detour via the M62 on the way back.

Newcastle July 1999 Simon's Stag weekend

Friday 9th - Get picked me up after they meet in the New Inn with the van. Simon, PK, Adjy, Large, Quince, Matt G, Ed, plus Phil, Gareth and Paul from Simon's work. Drive up the A1 and via Richmond to Tan Hill Inn. Lager all the way. More drinks there and we get a ball and chain on Simon. We play three card brad till 3am.

Saturday 10th - Move on to Newcastle. Check into the Novotel near Newcastle. I drive to Whitley bay, it seems to take forever. Sleep on the beach in the sunshine. I drive back, via the Tyne Tunnel and Tyne bridge. Have a good look at the Tyne valley below. We eventually go into town at 9pm. Go to the 'Big Market', accidentally leave Adjy in the toilets at the hotel. We don't realise that he isn't there until he finds us one hour later. Go for a McD and then Simon goes home. We split into two groups and go to Legends and Icon night clubs till 3am.

Sunday 11th - I feel fine in the morning, have a large breakfast. Leave at about noon after a leisurely morning. I drive down to a hotel just off the A1 before Richmond. We watch the Grand Prix and have a carvery. I drive down to Adjy's house for 5pm.

Mexico May 1999 - Simon Grundy's stag week.

Simon Grundy, Me, Matt Grundy, Peter Kirkland, Ian Burgess and Paul Tattershaw.

Thursday 27th - Leave work at 2.30pm, come home and pack. Matt picks me up, go for a pint in the Queen's and then taxi to the railway station. Catch the 5pm train down to London King's Cross. Get the tube to Victoria station, Simon books us into a B&B nearby. We go out for a few drinks near the Hotel and then walk into Soho, Leicester Square, walk past String-fellows.

Friday 28th - Have an early breakfast and get a taxi to Victoria station, get the tube to Gatwick. We have a three hour check-in time. Fly at 3pm. Have a nine hour flight. Talk to Simon and watch the films most of the time. Arrive at Cancun airport at 6pm, they have a six hour time difference. Arrive at the Club Las Velas, I stay with Simon, Tats with PK and Matt with Large. We are all in different parts of the complex and it takes a long time to find each others room. We go to the bar by the lagoon and have a stir fry and noodle meal. Get a taxi to the Hotel zone, the taxi driver takes us to a strip bar first, Large loves it. The place is absolutely full of African American, there for Spring Break. I am very tired and decide to come back early.

Saturday 29th - We all enjoy the breakfast and then go to the welcome meeting at 10am. We walk to the Caribbean beach following the map that we were given, PK burns his feet badly. Go to the Chinese restaurant on the complex most of us enjoy. We try to go down-town but the taxi driver says that it is shut. Go to the Hotel zone again. When we get back Matt, PK and Large drink through the night and have breakfast before going to bed.

Sunday 30th - Me and Simon get up and go canoeing into the lagoon a long way. When we get back have a go at snorkelling. When Large and Matt get up we hire two jet-skis and blast around the lagoon. Large falls off, then drags Matt and the supervisor off in an attempt to get back on before the crocodiles get him. We a have a very long game of volley ball. We eat in the Italian restaurant, Simon moans a lot and then says that the pizza is the best that he has ever had, even though he and PK leave most of it. I feel tired and stay in with PK, he is still suffering from last night. The others go down-town and come back in an hour saying that it is closed. They go to the bar by the lagoon and see two crocodiles, one six foot long.

Monday 31st - In and around the pool all day, play pool and volley ball. We go to eat in the Chinese again. Simon has a few comments about the food. Me and Tatts drink in the bar till 3am. PK and Matt go out. PK falls asleep in Christine's night club and has to be carried out by the bouncers.

Tuesday 1st June - We have to get up early for a boat trip to Isla Mujeres. I have a headache in the morning. Go snorkelling just off the coast of the island. See some excellent fish. When the guide puts some food in the water, it becomes incredibly dense with fish. It is just like a tropical fish tank. Get dropped off on the island and we walk across to the other side. We see the most gorgeous beach. Stay there for a while, have a drink and swim in the sea. The beach is very slowly sloping away. I keep wondering why there is no tide in the Caribbean. Simon insists on staying in the bar and we miss the boat. We get a taxi round the island to the lunch stop. Stay there for a while. Dive off the boat and lose both contact lenses. PK gets talking to a couple of sisters on the way back, Chloe and Roxy Blaze. They have a brother called Jessie James. We go back to their hotel and play in the pool. They have a pool with a slide but they have never used it. We talk them into it, I go down on a plastic bag. Have some cocktails in the Americas bar. Heavy thunder storm, but no rain, I get a little cold. Take them out for an expensive Italian meal. We go on to the Beer Factory for one and walk on the beach. The girls go home and we go to Senor Frogs. This is the most famous and popular bar in Cancun.

Wednesday 2nd - Go on canoes with Simon and Tats into the lagoon. Land on a small beach in the swamp. I see three small iguanas, two feet long. Simon does a turtle on the beach and we both shout at him. Walk over to the Caribbean again, after a while there is very heavy rain storm. Go to the Mexican restaurant and then Senor Frogs. Stay up when we get back to look for crocodiles.

Thursday 3rd - Lazy start to the day, Simon tries to get us all going. Eventually Me and Simon catch a bus along the coast. Go past lots of huge American hotels. We stop on a wonderful beach for a long time and play in the surf. Walk back along the beach and stop for a beer. Get talking to a woman called Karen, her husband is a professional golfer called Tim Tatum from Oklahoma City. Do some shopping on the way back and get some T-shirts. Eat in the main square. Go into the Hotel zone again. Go to our favourite bar, the Beer Factory, see the four girls from America, Liquid night club, then to Dady O's, apparently the best night club in the Americas.

Friday 4th - Leave the complex at 3pm. There is a huge queue at the airport, the four hour check in time is only just enough. We check in with the two girls. We are the last to board the aircraft. As we are about to board the captain tells us to stop and that there are not enough seats. The check-in staff have used the wrong aircraft seating plan. After a lot of waiting we get seated all over the aircraft. Take off over an hour late. Me, PK and Chloe stand up near the back almost all of the flight back drinking Gin and Tonic.

Saturday 5th - Arrive at about noon. Get the tube and then the sprinter back to Derby. I drive down to Warwick, arrive at about 7pm.

Scotland February 1999

Thursday 25th - Simon comes round at 4am with Gareth and Mitchell, go round and pick up Peter. We have a green VW caravelle, 2.5 Turbo. Simon drives up into Scotland. We have a good breakfast. I drive on to through Glasgow and on to Fort William. Simon is amazed at the bars on the windows of the pubs in the centre. Try to go boarding on Aonach Mor, but the lifts are shut due to high wind. Decide to go walking in Glen Nevis instead. Go over a steel wire bridge and climb up the side of a water fall. On the way back the bumps in the road catch us out and the van comes off the road. Me and Simon get a lift into Fort William to get a tow truck. Get back to the B&B for 7.30pm. After tea we get a taxi to Nevis Sport for a few drinks.

Friday 26th - We get a taxi to Inverness. He drives all the way up the Caledonian Canal, stop at Fort Augustus for a break. Drop off Mitchell and Gareth at Drumnadrochit. We carry on to Inverness, we hire a Vauxhall Omega. The hire place girl tells us to try the Lecht for boarding. Drive back to find the others in a bar. It rains almost all day. I drive to a couple of bars, a nice one near the canal in Fort Augustus. The woman reminds us of the one out of the film Misery. Me, Simon and Peter go out to a ceilidh, but it is very quiet, I win a plate rack. We decide to go snow-boarding tomorrow.

Saturday 27th - The day starts clear and with a covering of snow. We drive down to the Lecht. There is no snow on the ground until we actually get to the resort. We have a drive further away to hire the boards. Get on the slope for 1pm. Simon goes with Peter and scares himself about his knee. The rest of us get on well and put in some good turns. Go into Grantown on Spey on the way back. We have a small meal and drink, Simon drives back to Inverness, it starts to snow and the traffic is very slow. Simon gives us ¾ of an hour to get ready. Go to Johnny Foxes and then Barbarel, we drink Red bull and double vodka. Go to Mr Gees afterwards, have a good laugh, dance a lot. My head starts to spin outside and I throw.

Sunday 28th - Simon is desperate to climb a Ben Macdui. I am a little hungover, so Simon drives to Cairngorm. I decide on the way that I do not feel the need to climb a mountain. Me and Peter have a snooze in the car. Mitchell comes back after a while and says that he wants to go snow boarding as well. At about 1pm we go and get some snow-boards. The snow conditions are a lot different to yesterday, a lot more powder. We climb quite a way up the hill and have a good run down. Stay on the beginners slope after that. We do some good fast runs. Simon and Gareth return at about 4pm. They did not get very far up the mountain and got told to turn back. Try to start some girl's car in the car-park, the engine is full of snow, call the AA. Set off at 6pm, I drive down the mountain and some of the way to Perth. Simon takes over and drives to Dumblane. We call in for a curry. Simon orders way to much food, we leave at 10.15pm. I drive from there, have one stop for coffee and coke. It is very cramped for these in the back. I get a little lost in Stoke trying to find the A50. Me and Simon take the hire car back, I get home for 5am. Simon, Gareth and Mitchell go straight to work.

Ireland October 1998

Wednesday 7th - Leave work at noon. Pick up Shaun and Adjy. Meet PK, Simon and Large in the New Inn. Have a quick pint. Drive to Holyhead via Stoke, M6, M56, A55, takes about 3 hours. Catch the 8pm ferry, it was stuck by a low tide on the way into port. Very nice ferry, takes 3 hours to cross. Have a couple of pints of Guinness on the way. Have a bit of a problem finding the Charleston Guest House, Ranelagh, Dublin. Me and Adjy have a room in the basement. After a quick change we go to Temple Bar. This is the area of Dublin where all the action is. Go to the 'Quays' pub for our first pint, very busy. We are then told to go to a place called the Night Owl's back in Ranelagh. This club finishes early and we get a Taxi back into town to Lesson Street. Only the wine bars are open. Pay £22 for a bottle of red wine. Home for 3.30am.

Thursday 8th - Wake up at about 10am, I don't bother with breakfast. All the others go into town and go on the bus tour of Dublin. I meet them in Planet Hollywood at 1.30pm. Paul Gascoigne was in there the day before working his way down the cocktail list. When he gets back he books into a clinic. Have some food there and then go to the Guinness Brewery. They are not very impressed. Go to the oldest pub in Ireland, The Brazen Head. Have the first relaxing drink, chat and laugh of the holiday. Go for a very good Chinese for tea. Simon is very impatient to finish the meal and get on with the drinking. He and PK go off to the next pub and we have pudding. After a few more drinks we go to the 'M club'. Lots of bacardi and coke, we find a nice little bar upstairs. PK and Shaun get talking to some older drunk women.

Friday 9th - Make the 10am breakfast. We all walk into town in a small amount of drizzle. Go for a coffee until it stops. Go to Planet Murphy for the first of the day, nobody else is there. Walk past St. Stephens square and down the main shopping street. After a lot of debate PK buys a small camera. Walk down the street to Busters for another Guinness. Talk about going to the Viking exhibition but PK does not want to. More arguing about what time to go out this evening. We go for a Pizza next to Planet Hollywood. Excellent chicken wings starter, followed by an awful pizza. Get all the pizza for free, free extra drinks and free desserts. Send PK home in a taxi after he says that he is ill. Walk down to the Temple bar area again. Go to the M club again. Me and Adjy walk home.

Saturday 10th - Leave Dublin at lunchtime, go through Waterford. Stop in a pub in Kilkenny for a good pint of Kilkenny beer and a good meal. Discussions about where to stay in Cork, we ask for directions and we soon find a hotel. In town we get turned away from a couple of pubs and go off the place. A British boat is in port and we think that this is causing the trouble. Decide not to go to a night-club. Me, Adjy and Simon go back to the hotel for a quiet pint of Guinness.

Sunday 11th - I have talked them into a drive round the ring of Kerry. We enjoy the scenery very much. Stop at a hotel called the Parknasilla right by the sea, have a couple of pints and sandwiches. PK and Simon go for a skinny dip in the hot tub. Drive on and Simon wants to stop in a remote village. Eventually drive on to Killarney, find a good B&B for £16 a night. Have a gallon of Guinness throughout the day and feel in a great mood. Have a few drinks round the town. The first pub has the Irish declaration of Independence on the wall. Later on go to a club called the Crypt. Large gets quite drunk. We discuss some inner secrets, I enjoy this club the most of the week. Have an excellent burger later on.

Monday 12th - I feel quite tired so have a bit of a lie in. Shaun and PK go into town for shopping. We try to cycle round the lake but go for a meal instead, I have Irish stew. Drive down to Blarney Castle at high speed. We all kiss the Blarney stone, Large is a little nervous since it is 190 feet up. Some heated discussion about what to do next. They go for a pint and me and Shaun go to see his relations. Rush towards Mallow and then on turn to Burnfort. Find his uncle who is the chief of police for Cork. Talk for fifteen minutes. Rush back to the ferry port for 8pm. The others are not there. They went for a meal and misjudged the distance to the ferry. They stay another night in Cork and then drive up to Dublin and catch the ferry. We have a 10 hour crossing to Swansea.

Tuesday 13th - Sleep well on the ferry, arrive at about 8.30am to a very grey day at Swansea. Home for lunch.

Blackpool Oct 1997 - Rob Bailey's stag do

Saturday 4th - Pick Adjy up at 9am, watch Wacky races, PK for 10am. Drive up thru Macclesfield instead of Congleton to Blackpool. Try at the Roscrea Hotel and then work our way South, try lots of B&B. Head to St Anne's, go to Tourist Info, get in at the St Anne's hotel. Rob and his party are at the Glendower. Meet at about 4pm in the Swan, near the Tower, then Yates. Back to get changed and then some KFC. Go to Main street and then walk to Springs, back to the Glendower for more drinks. They all go on Rob's Dad's room number. Lose £100 somewhere during the evening on drinks. Get back for 5am.

Sunday 5th - I wake up with a headache, however it goes away by itself after I take a couple of Nurofen. The maid knocks for breakfast at 9:30am, but we don't bother. Not get out of bed till 1pm. Wander down to the Glendower but they have all gone. Wander back along the front at St Anne's, bacon sandwich. Set off home, stop on the Motorway. Feels a bit like Pulp Fiction. Home for 5pm.

Blackpool October 1996

Friday 25th - Pick up Adjy at 11am and we head to the Queens. PK is still working. Gee and Quince set off at 12.30. We play pool till PK is ready, leave at 2pm. Lots of queuing on the M6, arrive at 6pm. Out for a KFC and then along the front. Head for Springs nightclub under the Pembroke Hotel, stay there till late.

Saturday 26th - Wake up in a good mood. Try the breakfast, but it is inedible. Back to the rooms for a while. Walk along the front, Gaiety's, Yates, The Star. Huge queues for the Big One. Back to the rooms for a snooze. Out to Pizzaland for a feed, awful. Queue for the Palace club, very large, packed with young girls but we don't enjoy it. After a while Simon says "We are getting nowhere here" and we go off to Springs again, much more our style. For some reason the club shuts at the first 2am.

Sunday 27th - Just the bacon and eggs for breakfast. Go to the Tower ballroom for an hour, great place. Home in the evening.

Quince's Stag week - Ibiza 1995

Simon Grundy, Peter Kirkland, Rob Bailey, Andrew King, Edwin Tor, Ian Burgess

Sunday 26th June - Leave Little Eaton Queen's Head at 10.30 am. Seen off by Rob's family and Kelly, Teresa and the Grundy family. Have a couple of Bud's on the way down there. Watch Rugby at Birmingham airport. The flight is delayed 20 minutes. Arrive just before 8pm at the Galfi hotel - San Antonio. Very sweaty, go straight into the pool, nice and cool. Play pool and drink Skol. Go into town for a meal at about 10.30 p.m. Have steak with lots of sangria. Hundreds of attractive girls walk past. Walk up the main street, buzzing. Go into Joe Spoons, Irish bar very lively. Large gets very drunk and throws up. We have to carry him home, while he keeps on saying 'He was doing it for Tottenham'. Ed, PK and Rob go back into town till 5.30am.

Monday 27th - Make it down to breakfast for 10.30am. Sunbathe round the pool all morning, waiting for the welcome meting at 1pm. Walk down to San Antonio beach, very hot. Swim a lot and play football and Frisbee. Meet the rep at 9pm for a bar crawl. Enjoy it after I have a few vodka and oranges. Have a meal with Gee and Quince and then meet the others again. Ed is drunk. We all laugh after watching him smoke an unlit fag. Quince has to do a striptease in a shower in the BeechComber bar.

Tuesday 28th - Simon and Quince go down to hire a jeep, a 9 seater. Drive to Portinax in search of jet skis. Take the scenic route. Gee drives to start with, we all tell him to go slower and criticise everything. Then Quince has a go and we tell him the same. Go via San Miguel. Everyone is very hungry, have a meal, very slow service. On the beach Portinax. Hire two boats with outboard motors, they go a bit slow with 4 people in. Have a go by myself, get it hydro-planning for the first time, very exciting. Do a lot of swimming. Drive back and have an ice-cream in Es Cana. Go for a meal at about 10pm, Joe Spoons etc. Good Laser show at 2play, also night life. We meet a couple of girls called Donna and Mel, they work at the Royal Bank of Scotland in Doncaster. Get back for 5.30am.

Wednesday 29th - Drive to Es Cana with Donna and Mel. I am still pissed in the morning. Freshened up by the breeze. Find a quiet beach, then discover that it is rocky. Stay there all day. Do a lot of swimming, nice after the initial rocks. Some of the others go of to the hippy market. I drive back, dog leg gears and poor steering, but still fun. Eat very late from 11pm till 1am, everyone is tired, have one in Joe Spoons and go home.

Thursday 30th - Get up early for breakfast. Catch the ferry to Formentera at 10am, 2 hour trip. Good views of Ibiza. The island allows naked bathing. We all have a go even though Large is reluctant. I get a little sunburnt. Have a swim in the sea, wonderful free feeling. Have a Spaghetti Bolognese for lunch in a posh restaurant, we have to put our clothes back on. Go jet skiing for half hour, PK describes it as sheer power, no restriction, dog with two dicks. Catch the ferry back at 5pm. Drive to Ibiza town in the evening. Have a nice meal, Gee has swordfish, pork fillet. A few have got colds, Rob is worst. Come back, Large goes home, we go to Joe Spoons and then Murphy's. Taxi back with Rob at about 3am.

Friday 1st July - Get going for about noon. Drive around looking for a full English breakfast. Drive to the Water park at Del Bossa. Have breakfast there. Most people are ill with sore throats. Very noise at breakfast. Go to the beach near Ibiza Town. Watch a girl doing pictures for Playboy. We play volley-ball and she asks to join in. She is called Angela from Germany. They tell us that we will be in the September issue. Drive around for a long time going to a restaurant on the way to Es Cana. It does a very good meal. Go to Joe Spoons, buy the T-shirt, Rob offers to buy it off me for £50. Go to Es Paradise, very good club, well lit. Enjoy dancing a lot, £4 for Vodka and Orange. Flood the dance floor at 5.45am, closes at 6am.

Saturday 2nd - Get back for 6.30am. Go to bed for 7am, sleep till noon. Drive south to a beach at Les Silinios. Very good beach, lots of catamarans. Have breakfast at about 2pm, all day on the beach. Leave the beach at about 8pm. Quince and Gee take the Nissan Patrol back. Walk into town. Have a pizza with a tortellini starter. Get Quince's caricature done. Walk up to Joe Spoons, the Koppas, ask about Ku club but it is shut on Saturdays? Back to the hotel, Mohammed shouts at us for the noise, bed at 5.30am.

Sunday 3rd - Wake up a little wobbly. Vacate the room by noon. Slob around the hotel and the walk into town. Large loses his passport into Simon's back pocket. Buy Playboy for a few months afterwards but we are not in it.

Great Yarmouth April 1995 - No records exist

Tan Hill Inn January 1995 - No records exist

Bull with Thorn weekend 1995 - I don't know the date, Me, PK, Simon, Ed, Large, Adjy

Friday - Drive up to the Bull w'Thorn on the Ashbourne to Buxton road. Simon has assured us that they will serve late. Put up the tent on the back lawn. Play a large game of three card brag all evening. I phone Sarah, using my new mobile phone, in Leamington to ask what how much I should bet. The pub shuts bang on time. They eventually agree to sell us one bottle of beer each to take out. For an un-recorded reason I decide to phone PK's girlfriend Teresa, she doesn't find it very funny.

Blackpool October 1994

Saturday 8th - Set off at 6am. Tats, Quince, and Adjy in my car. PK, Gee and Ed in Large's car. Stay at the Seaforth Hotel. Head to the pleasure beach. Start the gallon off at Yates. Go for steak and chips. My fake Rolex eventually gives in during the afternoon. Head to 'The Business' later.

Sunday 9th - Good Breakfast. Go on the Big One, 235 feet, 85 mph. Do lots of other rides and of course the Kentucky Derby. Business club again, not so good.

Monday 10th - Bright sunny day, play football on the beach, I score two goals. They charge us an extra £21 per night since we are all lads, this causes a few problems with the plumbing in a few weeks time.

Tan Hill January 1994

Friday 8th - Drive up with Adjy starting at 5.30pm. Quince, Gee, PK and Tats went up earlier for Quince's 25th birthday. Lots of snow on the ground. Drink lots of Old Peculiar and Black Russians. Play pool for a while then settle down to three card brag. Late on PK throws in his £50 note, but Quince has seen his hand and wins it. Drink till 3am. PK is almost un-conscious and sleeps in the corridor.

Saturday 9th - PK wakes at 6am and knocks on his own bedroom door, Quince asks 'Who is it ?' Breakfast for 10am. PK decides to try and drive his van down the Pennine way to Derby, gets stuck after 10 yards. I drag him out with a rope. Drive down to the Farmers Arms at Muker. When we walk in they say "Were you the lads who got that van stuck?", word has travelled with the post van. Some of them go to the Oldham match, others wander back via Richmond.

Kendal November 1993

Thursday 25th - Pick up Adjy and round to Gee's for 7am. Stay at the Beech House B&B in Kendal. Go down to the Leisure Centre and play table tennis. Walk into town and find a greasy cafe. Castle Hotel for a few Boddington's in the afternoon. Walk back up the hill and go to the Rifleman's for a couple. Back to the B&B for a couple of hours sleep. Wake up at 8am.

Friday 26th - Good breakfast. I use PK's brick to phone the sports centre, more table tennis, I beat Gee. Back to the B&B, lots of problems starting my car, we have to push it off the drive and then down the street. Drive to Coniston walk up the Old Man. Tats and PK turn back and drive back to Ambleside. We get to the top in an hour and three quarters, brilliant views. Back to Ambleside to find them, they are in the Sun Inn, we go in the Back bull for some OP. Pizza for tea, large debate about whether to go to a club. In the end a few of us go to "The Park", dreadful.

Saturday 27th - Drive back via Settle and Leeds, run out of petrol at Adjy's house.

Scarborough May 1993

Friday 30th April - Leave at 8am with Adjy, PK, Gee and Tats. Up the M1, M18, A1 stop at a greasy cafe called Whiteways for breakfast. A168 for Pickering, get to Scarborough for lunchtime. Have a look at the B&B that Tats had booked and decide against it. Find another near the centre, very friendly. Walk into town, a few pubs. Good fish and chips for dinner. Go to the Newcastle Packet for a few. Back to the B&B, get changed and out again. Walk into town, some girls shout at us, "Why have you brought your dad with you ?" Go to Laugtons till late.

Saturday 1st May - Good breakfast, head to the north pier. Play pitch and putt, long game due to lack of ability. Bus back into town, more fish and chips. Newcastle Packet again. See Jim Torr walking down the street. Back to the B&B to get changed and then back into town, cannot get into Toffs or Laugtons. Pete sets the fire alarm off at 2am when we get back. I rush down stairs to tell everyone that it is a false alarm, the others all hide under the beds and in the wardrobes.

Sunday 2nd - Lots of people at breakfast, leave at 11.30. Drive down the A64 to Malton, go into a pub called the "Clarence", we get roast pork, roast potatoes and black pudding all for nothing. Home for 4pm.

Alport Dec 1992

Tuesday 29th - Gee rings and we arrange to meet in the George between 1 and 2pm. Me and Tats pick up some gear from the hut and then pick up PK from West Hallam and drive to Castleton. Meal in the Castle and fill up a water container. Drive to Bradwell and find a very greasy cafe, PK condemns the gas fire. Drive up to the hut for 8pm. Play three card brag till late. Peter sleeps on the roof till dawn, very clear night.

Wednesday 30th - Wake up when Peter comes in. Lie in till 11am. The river is frozen over. Call in for breakfast in Carver. Simon is unhappy about how little we get (as usual).

Ringinglow - September 1st 1990.

Saturday - Me, Anna, PK, Lisa, Gee, Johnny Dawes, ?? Drive up to the Plough Inn at Hathersage first, play darts. Simon wants to find a barn to sleep in. Call in for one at the Yorkshire Bridge. We set off to towards the Grouse Inn, but end up in the Norfolk Arms in Ringinglow for last orders. We find a large hollow just off the road and try and put the tent up.

Sunday - Get up at about 9am. A police car drives past slowly for a quick look. Head back after breakfast.